I have been at war with my hair for about a year now. It started innocently enough. I spent a few days scrolling through beautiful blonde girls on Pinterest, and the next thing I knew I was walking out of Sally’s Beauty Supply with everything I needed for a do-it-yourself bleach job.
The color was actually perfect. I was flying high on all of the compliments I was getting from my friends, but my poor hair was dead dead dead. The ends didn’t even feel like hair anymore, and it seemed to fall off in chunks if you even breathed on it while it was wet.
The following year was a frustrating cycle of bad haircuts, uncomfortable extensions, and never feeling comfortable without some type of hat on. A few weeks ago, I just had to accept it. It was time to start fresh.
I returned my hair to its natural color, cut off everything except for the healthy regrowth, and put my extensions to rest in the bottom of my closet. As I chopped off my hair, I was surprised by how much of my confidence was leaving with it.
In the past, I’ve been the girl who wasn’t afraid to play around with my hair. I’ve had spiky pixie cuts, hot pink bobs, and big, bright blue curls. But things have been different since I gained weight. All I could think was how in the hell am I supposed to look feminine and confident with this boyish haircut?
I wore hats the first few times I went out in public. I didn’t even try to style it. What was the point?
But, yesterday, I decided to try something different. I threw on some fake lashes, a gold choker, and some bold, red lipstick. I wasn’t going to let my weight or my hair make me feel like I wasn’t feminine enough. I took the flat iron to the mess on my head and pushed it out of my face, and then I left the house.
There has just got to be something that pours out of a confident woman, because I received more than one compliment about my hair that day. There was something so empowering about embracing the pixie cut that I’m not sure I want to grow it out right away. It made me feel bold and helped me redefine my own femininity.
So – for now – you can expect to be seeing a lot more of new look.
If you’ve been playing around with the idea of trying out a shorter hairstyle…go for it. Rock it proudly, and don’t ever let your confidence get tangled up (pun intended) in one small part of you.